COMA BABY

coma baby, with your sick head
the doctors saved you, but you’re still dead
through your scalp i would like to reach in
so i could pull out the monster you’ve been

but you would do anything to
destroy the body that they rescued
your sick little head, so brain damaged
lying in that hospital bed

coma baby, the cry of your bones
and your skull when it split on the road
i wish i’d find all the lonely remnants
of you that left when your head cracked open

lately i can’t recognize you
the doctors lied when they said they saved you
you’re just the shell of the boy that you’ve been
and you’re dying, i can feel it

HOLES OF ALBINOS

collected all of the bones of the albinos
pounded them to dust and put them up their nose
used their knives to skin off the flesh from the limbs they bought
scalped all the heads then they said their blessings

they pulled all the teeth out with pliers in their mouths
they cut through the bone and left them without hands

BLOOD BROTHERS

he took me to a motel, he put me on the bed
he cut my arm open then did the same to his
the skin parted like petals on blossoming flowers
we pressed the cuts together, became one and another

now we’re blood brothers
a part of me will always live in you
i’ll love all your demons
because now they’re my demons, too

he watched all of my hair fall out
he lifted me and kissed my scalp, he said
“i know you’re trying to kill yourself
but i’ll never let you do it
because our bodies are one now
i’ll eat when you starve yourself
i’ll lick your wounds and kiss your mouth
i’ll take care of you forever”

we stained the sheets with cum and blood
we consummated with his gun, he said
“i’ll use this to protect you from
anyone who tries to hurt you”
we lay there naked on the bed
he wrapped his arm with his bandage
we watched the gauze turn blood red
“i’ll take care of you forever”

BARREN

curdled like milk in the summer heat
my skin’s gone soft, my head is spoiled
my heart’s a rabid dog trying to
put its teeth in you
you thought you saw light
but it was forest fires
eating me alive
my limbs are dead and dry
my ribcage cradles dirt and weeds
i’m empty inside

and i will never be able to love you
i couldn’t if i tried
and i will lay down next to you
but i fear a dead body would feel warm
compared to mine
cause i’m barren on the inside
i’m barren on the inside

you tried to make love to my empty womb
tried to stuff me like a doll with pieces of you
but it all seeps from my loosened seams
i took myself apart and cut off my strings
and scraped the remains from my starving bowels
collected them into garbage piles
to tie in bags, sink in the lake
and bury at the bottom all my sad mistakes

DOG TEETH

he handed me a pair of pliers
and told me to pull out his teeth
because as long as he had them
he would use them to do bad things

you’re cold on the inside
there’s a dog in your heart
and it tells you to tear everything apart
my body’s covered in teeth marks
your bite’s worse than your bark
you ruin everything you touch
and destroy anyone you love
you’re all over me

he’d sunk his teeth into the flesh of many others
infecting them with whatever was already inside him
he’d broken all their hymens
cut them open and played inside them
he’d hollowed out their bodies so they’d feel just empty as him

HAIR LOCKETS

cut with dull scissors and tied with a ribbon
curated under the glass of my pendant
you always said you hated the things you can’t control
like all the wild hair that grows from your follicles

i’ve been collecting pieces of your hair
to tuck away in the locket that i wear
pretty strands that grew in your youth
pieces that i’ll always hold onto

sweeter than a vial of your blood
will never dry or disintegrate
pieces you’d tie back when we made love
now slipped away where they loyally wait

when you’re old, grey and diseased
i’ll still have parts of your young body
the one you lived in when you loved me
the rest of you now decomposing

VALLEY OF THE DEAD

the ghost of the palliative care ward have been following me
whispering through the clear plastic lining over their dead bodies
their diapers and their feces still on the hospital sheets
they’re dead but they’re still up walking around
and they say to me, “death is pretty sweet”

we’re in the valley of the dead
cremated bodies in the air
and the rotten ones underneath
where we harvest the food we eat
i’m not scared of death
because death’s all over me

i’ve been spending my time hanging out in hospital wards
bringing flowers and love letters to my quadriplegic baby
the ache of his colostomy bag and his blood transfusions
his medication makes him so sleepy
but he still whispers to me, “death is pretty sweet”

we’re in the valley of the dead
bodies turn to liquid in the heat
the particles crawl into our pours
and they soak into our wooden floors
i’m not scared of death
because death’s all over me
i’m not scared of death
because death’s all over me

GHOSTS

the autumn wind carries all of the ghosts
they catch on me and hide under his sheets
they make their nests in my clothing seams
possessing my bones and my being

we waited til the morning where the sun did rise
but the moon still lingered in his weary eyes
ghosts fill my head with such rotten things
and with the loneliness that the cold air brings

the room was dim so i doubt that he could see
my cold, shaking hands and my reddened cheeks
a part of me wished to crawl under his sheets
but i sincerely doubted that we would sleep

so we waited til the morning where the sun did rise
but the moon still lingered in his weary eyes
betraying a good heart to satisfy mine
but he’s a ghost i never thought i’d find

BALL JOINTED DOLL (HARRY)

tried to bend your kneecaps and they shattered
tried to move your legs but they bolted your joints together
and the more you tried, the more you knew
this had been the way they’d built you
in the body of a ball jointed doll
you’re so fragile you can’t move at all

but i just want to touch you
and i promise i won’t break you
if you would be my doll just for a day
then i would put you back into your case

pieced your limbs together with chalk-ware skin
painted the cupid’s bow above your lips
you’re so beautiful but so delicate
the porcelain cracks up your back and neck
in the body of a ball jointed doll
you’re so fragile you can’t move at all

FARMER'S FIELD

he buried me in a farmer’s field
pastors stretch for miles
and now i’m just a pile of tender teeth and bones
wrapped in the grass of window meadows

CRIES OF THE ELEPHANT MAN BONES

when you died i heard the cries in the night
of your soul leaving the deformed flesh that shamed your mind
all of those years your bones wept
but now there is no skin left
the worms have eaten it you’re free to go

and i will take your bones and with them build a home

burdened at birth inside of a face no mother could love
she let them shame you like animal
they broke your limbs and beat in your swollen head
til your neck shattered to pieces they put in the ground

gooble gobble gooble gobble, we accept you, we accept you, one of us

i hear your soft bones crying
i hear your soft bones crying
i hear your soft bones crying in the night